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-The revision now stood as follows: "Encouraged by new oil finds across the country, China's petrochemical industry has adopted a long-term strategy of doubling its capacity to process crude oil and its production of chemicals by the end of the century to meet the rising domestic demand." -That version was grammatically correct and easier to comprehend, but the polisher thought it could be further improved. -For purposes of emphasis, the subordinate phrase "to meet the rising demand" should be moved out of its final position. And to make a tighter logical connection and increase the parallelism, she could convert it to a participial phrase matching "Encouraged by." -This produced: "Encouraged by new oil finds across the country, and hoping to meet the rising domestic demand, China's petrochemical industry… ." -Only then did the polisher realize that "strategy" was not the logical word here. Doubling production was not a "strategy" the industry had adopted but a "goal" it had established. When she had made that change, she was content with the revision.] 去书内
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  • 冰莱 冰莱

    中式英语之鉴 第三部分:补充…… ——修订后的内容如下:“受全国新发现石油的鼓舞，中国石化行业制定了到本世纪末原油加工能力和化学品产量翻一番的长期战略，以满足不断增长的国内需求。” -这个版本语法正确，更容易理解，但润色者认为它还可以进一步改进 -为了强调，将从句“to meet the rising demand”移出最后的位置。为了建立更紧密的逻辑联系，增加平行度，她可以把它转换成一个匹配“encouraging by”的分词短语。 -这产生了:“受全国各地新发现石油的鼓舞，并希望满足不断增长的国内需求，中国石化行业....” -直到那时抛光者才意识到“策略”这个词在这里并不符合逻辑。产量翻倍并不是什么“战略” “这个行业曾经 但它已经确立了一个“目标”。当她做了那个改变后，她对修改感到满意。

    2020-12-29 喜欢(0) 回复(0)

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